Having said this, I suggest the upaasakas not to focus on this, even though it may happen. Like you are breathing, you don’t focus on it it just happens. In the same way, let it happen. But then how can the upaasaka judge what status he is in, and what granthi, bhedana, mooladhara bhedana, brahma granthi vibhedani, all this granthi bhedana, how can you identify?
I have told a number of times, it’s your lifestyle, how you take the things in your life. You may experience splashes and lightening and movements, but if there is no change in your anger level, understanding the situation, observing and finding Mother in each and everything around you, and in the peace of mind you are enjoying, the blissful state of existence. All these things, you are the judge, no one can be the judge. So once you measure this, the more and more you struggle and strive for moving forward naturally, Kundalini moves automatically. When we turn in the reverse direction observing Kundalini, then most times your concentration is on the Upadhis and the results. Result oriented prayer and result oriented meditation are not that much powerful. So a good upaasaka will never focus on this. If my Guru wanted me to do mantra japam, I’ll do mantra japam. I won’t even look back to see what is happening behind me, but without my knowledge I can observe and enjoy the bliss in the samsara. You maybe in the mundane world, you may be just like any other person, in dress like, everything same, but still there is some uniqueness. You are a upaasaka when Kundalini moves through the different chakras and based on the chakra, your attitude towards life changes. That is what you need to focus on. When you focus on attitude, naturally you strive for better and better and better.
So this is the same question I asked my Guru, Sri Amritananda Natha Saraswathi, while travelling in Godavari Express from Vizag to Hyderabad, early morning two o’clock, we didn’t get sleep. We were sitting opposite to each other on a side berth. I said, “Guruji, many people come to you and tell that they heard some blasting sounds and visualize lightening in their spinal cord, heat cold, I never experienced anything”. I was a peethapati of Devipuram at that time. “So do you mean to say I don’t have any good saadhna done! How do you rate me? Where am I?”. Then Guruji told, “These are all upaadhis, you don’t care. I just tell them Oh! that’s great, that’s great, otherwise they don’t get satisfied or they will get disappointed and they will not do any further japam or meditation. As a good upaasaka, you should never focus on these external reactions or results. Instead you just look at yourself, how you are dealing with the things. Nobody need to judge you. That’s where Kundalini rises”. That’s how my Guruji told.
From then onward, whether it happens or not, you don’t even look back, you just focus on mantra. Through mantra you focus on Mother, and Mother takes care of you.When Mother is in full control of you, then you don’t exist. When you don’t exist, the lightening, the movement, everything, they don’t exist. Only one thing exists, that’s the BLISS.
You are not bothered by the ups and downs in life, you are not shattered. You have the same steadiness, stability, knowledge – flowing knowledge. You may not know anything about the subject but you will talk about the subject. Take me for instance, I don’t know sanskrit, I don’t know Lalitha Sahasranama meaning. But then people ask me questions, I just close my eyes, and then talk, enjoying Mother talk! That experience you will get. So steadiness, the knowledge flowing through you, and you are observing that to flow through you. You are a witness! You are observing Mother speaking through you. So these kinds of experiences show that you are on a right path. Of course as a child, you need some encouragement, and if that is the case then we can always refer to that book. But the problem in referring to the book is you expect that to happen. Who knows, something greater than that is designed for you. But because you are expecting only these splashes, and lightening, and you will be satisfied only with that. So never expect anything, never design upaasana, let it go . But focus on the attitude towards life. That is the upaasana.